2nd Year Teacher Update!

 I am SO AWFUL at updating this!

  Some updates on my life for my thousands of blog reader fans ( I actually have like... 5):

1.  This is my 2nd year as a teacher now! Woo!

2.  Just directed and put up the show It's Not You, It's Me by Don Zolidis.  It was a smashing hit at the middle school! Very proud of my cast and crew.

3. I am more disorganized this year than I was the last year. Like.... a lot more disorganized and forgetful.  I procrastinate like nobody else, but I work better that way. Last minute lesson planning? I'm a total champion at that!

4.  Last April towards the end of the school year, my family received devastating and life-changing news that my mom has Stage 3 lung cancer. The amount of support and outpouring of love that we have received has been overwhelmingly lovely. She is doing well and her will and spirit is strong and positive.

     When I found out, I didn't cry at all.  I kind of just took the news, felt the pain in my heart and stomach and let it settle heavily on my shoulders, but never once cracked. It all happened really quickly.  We found out one day, and then a week later she moved to California to get treatment and stay with her brothers and sisters.  My dad, sister, and I were kind of in a shocked daze, it was all a blur and nobody really had time to process anything.  I kind of just kept it together somehow and pushed it out of my mind.  I hated when people asked me how I was doing because I honestly didn't know.  You could ask me about how my mom was doing and I could answer it, but once anyone asked how I was handling things, I felt angry.

     I finally broke down and cried for about an hour straight at school.  In the middle of class.  I was very attached to my 8th grade students, my first graduating class, and had prepared a song for them.  They sat quietly and listened and watched as I started to sing, and then some of the lyrics made me sad and then it was like a floodgate opened.  I stopped singing and started crying, the students crowded around and hugged me.  After a bit I excused myself and walked down to my principal's office and shakily said, "Can somebody please go watch my class?" as the tears kept coming.  I was straight up ugly crying like you would not believe! My wonderful principal quickly got up, said, "yes" and ran down to my room and I hid in the conference room.  Several coworkers came in and tried to comfort me, and then a lovely math teacher covered the entirety of my class on her plan time.  Meanwhile, I'm in a conference room sobbing nonstop. But I needed it.  Sometimes a good cry is what you need.  I had bottled everything up, it was bound to happen. Afterwards my principal said, "I knew it was going to happen.  When you told me you hadn't cried, I knew."   I am very blessed to work in such a supportive environment where the faculty and staff genuinely care.

    When I had calmed down enough, school was out.  I headed back to my class when I thought my students had left.  When I came in there were several students still there and they had all made a banner and put it up on my wall.  They signed their names and put things like, "I love you, don't be sad!".  Of course that made me tear up as well.  Talk about an emotional day, whew!

5. There's a high possibility that I may move back to California along with my sister and dad.  I am working at a dream job, but I know that there comes a time in everyone's life where big sacrifices need to be made.  This is one of my big sacrifices that I would need to make in order to spend as much time as I can with my mom and family.

    With the move comes a lot of questions.

Would I teach if I moved there?  Honestly, I don't know.

Do I love to teach?  God, yes. But it's California, and everything's so expensive, and would there even be a speech/debate/drama position open anywhere?  I'd have to retake tests in order to be certified because California doesn't honor Oklahoma teaching licenses.  Could I pass their tests? I'm an awful test taker and it took me 4 tries to pass the OSAT here.

 What would I do if I don't teach?  Luckily I am a licensed cosmetologist, and I've already looked into what I have to do to cut hair in California and I'd only have to pay $50 to get it.  I could do hair again and figure things out in the meantime.  Maybe go back to school and do a completely different career?

 I have a lot of questions, all of which exhausts and terrifies me. The good news is that I am always optimistic and have a go-with-the-flow attitude. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and you always end up where you're supposed to be, with the people you are supposed to be with, doing what you are supposed to IF you are optimistic and accept change and hardships. Life is hard enough without you fighting it every step of the way.

 So there's that update.

6.  I can't complain.  I am blessed in every way.  And my students this year? They're crazier than ever, but their crazy grounds me and keeps my head above water.



        Because I cried and had to stop singing, I decided to record myself instead.  I showed them this on the last 2 days of school.